


this love is strong (why do I feel weak?)

by whatamidoingeven



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 04:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11982327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatamidoingeven/pseuds/whatamidoingeven
Summary: Haru invites Makoto out, and lets her pick the destination. Makoto sees this as a great opportunity to get to connect with her teammate and fellow third-year. Naturally, nothing works out as planned.





	this love is strong (why do I feel weak?)

**Author's Note:**

> for obstinateRixatrix

Makoto probably should have known better.

No, not ‘probably’- she should’ve done more research, should’ve had more first-hand experience with this sort of thing. When Haru asked if she wanted to spend time together and let Makoto choose somewhere ‘people our age hang out’, Makoto really should have had a better suggestion, but- well.

It would be a lot easier to question herself if she weren’t already standing in front of the arcade in Shibuya, Haru by her side, the clouds drifting in and neither of them with anything to say.

“Well then,” Haru starts, more of a mercy killing than anything else, “Shall we go inside?”

Makoto nods, tries to get words out but finds none, and follows Haru through the front door.

* * *

 

It had been a while since Akira had brought her here, long before she had first spoken to Haru and since, well, everything around them had sort of...collapsed.

So the flashing lights, loud sound effects and population of mostly teenage boys is jarring, to say the least. Not exactly the best place for a conversation or getting to know someone, especially not when said person was brought up with propriety and poise seemingly woven into her DNA, even after she had soundly rejected that sort of life.

Not that Haru seems to mind- well, better to confirm that than to wonder-

When Makoto turns around, there’s no one there, and it occurs to her that she had been so focused on everything else that she hadn’t heard Haru speak, let alone follow her wherever she went, and Makoto’s chest drops a little, because everything about this outing is going totally off the Mementos rails and-

“Whoa! How are you so good?”

“No way- you said you never played before, that’s a total lie!”

“Pretty good for a chick!”

“Oh, Mako-chan!” Haru turns around, plastic light gun in hand and a large, flashing display with the words NEW HIGH SCORE! in flawless English framing her smiling face, “Have you ever tried this? It’s simply delightful!”

“Huh.” is all Makoto can manage, because really, everything in front of her is very distracting.

Haru doesn’t notice her distraction, instead excitedly pointing to another machine, one with a giant plastic motorcycle accessory sitting in front of it. “Oh, let’s try that one next!”

“O-okay.” Makoto stutters, but doesn’t get much of a say in the matter anyway as Haru latches onto her arm, pulling her along.

Once there, Haru makes a grand gesture, presenting the seat to her, arms outstretched “After you, Queen.”

“Ah.” It’s early November, so sure, it’s a little chilly, but is it really necessary to already turn the heat on in a place like this? That has to be a fire hazard, Makoto decides, her cheeks burning as she steps up onto the pseudo-bike.

  
It’s nowhere near the size of Johanna, and the raw energy Makoto normally feels when she rides, just a breath’s distance away from manifesting under her skin, is conspicuously absent, but Haru seems excited about it, so Makoto resigns herself to this imitation of a motorcycle, taking a deep breath as Haru inserts the necessary yen.

The countdown on-screen transforms her into a different person entirely.

There's just something about the small _pings_ of it, the word GO that flips a switch inside Makoto, and the only thing she sees is the small pixelated men on either side, with their equally pixelated motorcycles, and the lines that would be best to beat them. It takes a second to understand the controls- braking and accelerating is different when there's no weight behind it- and even cognitively mapping the layout of the course is a challenge as she completes the first lap.

The second lap is better. Curves and sudden turns aside, Makoto has a better grasp on the handling of the vehicle, passing each of the men in front of her one by one, swerving between them like the day she had to lead the escape from the Pyramid.

By the end of the second lap, anything less than victory is unacceptable. Each synth beat of background music speeds up, more intense, and it's obvious the stakes have been raised. Makoto doesn't even need to see the FINAL LAP pop-up at the top of the screen- she already knows exactly what she needs to do to claim victory.

She swerves, once, twice, until the only man in front of her is in first place. Sights are set, she’s examined his patterns as much as she can and knows he takes corners just a little too wide, if she ducks inside the final corner, she can-

_CRASH._ Out of nowhere an item comes flying in from offscreen, unexpected and unacceptable as Makoto’s small avatar spins into the dirt trap to the side of the course and the computer AI passes the finish line first.

“Oh no.” Haru’s voice, far too soft for this cruel world, chimes in just loud enough to be heard over the gradual creaking of plastic under Makoto’s hands. “L-Let’s move on to something else.”

Makoto feels her shoulders stiffen, and briefly wishes she were in Mementos face-to-face with some Anzu, because at least then it would be socially acceptable to destroy them, but that thought process is wiped clean as a hand presses against her bicep. “I thought I saw something over there that looked interesting?”

The tension leaves in spades, muscles relax and Makoto doesn’t bother to put a name to why, because it doesn’t seem to matter.

“Alright,” She says, instead, “Let’s check it out.”

* * *

 

Makoto’s not sure this sort of thing should be allowed in an arcade. Or anywhere indoors, for that matter.

Still, there’s something fascinating about watching Haru swing a barely-restrained baseball bat around a flimsily cordoned-off area of the first floor to beat virtual zombies into submission. It has the same effect watching her tear through Shadows does, the times Makoto’s found herself unable to look away- like a fire, destructive and dangerous and alluring.

She clears her throat at the last word, though only a passing boy gives her a look as Haru finishes up the round she’s on, working through them at rapid pace. The big screen at the front of the cage flashes as more and more enemies come into play, Haru smashing each and every one of them.

That is, until the camera slowly pans and they come from the far edges of the screen, forcing Haru to rely on her peripheral vision, and there’s only so much she can do short of spinning around to snag each bumbling baddie. She holds her own but there’s still way too many there and-

“Mako-chan! I need back-up!” Makoto’s instincts take over at the words, even though Haru’s voice is almost bubbling with laughter.

Makoto sprints into the cage, parting the incredibly unsafe webbing that acts a barrier, and picking up the second bat tethered to the machine at the front of it.

“I’ll take the right- you go left!” It’s a command but in the case of an apocalypse, someone has to lead, and Haru gladly follows suit, the two of them back-to-back in front of the machine, swings in synch.

Soon enough, the threat is averted, and there is a temporary pause Makoto uses to catch her breath while ominous music builds up in the background. She feels something press against her, and the breath she had just caught suspends itself in her lungs.

“This is so invigorating! I might have to get one of these machines at home. I wonder if Futaba might know where I could find one?”

“I-I’m sure she would have some idea.” Where did her commanding tone go? If she focuses hard enough, she can feel the rise and fall of Haru’s breathing against her, and it crosses Makoto’s mind that maybe Haru’s the one who stole her’s away.

No time to think about that as the music amps up again, loud crunching as pixilated scenery is crushed under the foot of a giant zombie.

“Here it comes.” Makoto readies her weapon. It’s less familiar than her fists, but she’ll manage- she must. She feels Haru’s shoulders stiffen as she mirrors the motion.

“Ready!” the way it’s said conveys a smile, and Makoto can’t help smiling too.

The camera pans up to the monster’s ugly face, and the second the health bar pops up, the both of them are swinging.

“Go- watch out for the arm! I’ll take out it’s legs!” Makoto ducks onto her knees, swinging horizontally at the screen while Haru does the same, but to the upper body.

“Are we doing anything to it? It’s blinking- does that mean it’s-”

“Haru- watch out!” the monster’s left hand sweeps across the screen just as Makoto wraps her arms around Haru’s waist, pulling her to the ground and immediately under the monster’s attack radius.

It also puts her immediately under Makoto, and the realization raises a five-alarm fire on Makoto’s face.

“M-Mako-chan?”

“I- Um.” There go her words again, but her brain is too frazzled to even search for them.

In the background, there’s groaning and screaming and, eventually, a game over tone- not that it seems to matter much when a blush creeps up on Haru’s face and Makoto can’t believe she’s staring and-

“Hey, are y’all finished in there? Weirdos.” comes a voice from outside the cage. Haru sits up and Makoto pushes off her, their legs still touching, nowhere near as close as they were but Makoto is still way too warm and before she knows it, Haru is up and offering her a hand and they’re stepping outside of the flimsy webbing.

Leaving the cage breaks Makoto from her stupor, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“No- don’t worry about it, okay, you were just getting into it-”

“I didn’t see- I had no idea that was-”

“Mako-chan.” Haru takes one of Makoto’s hands between hers, enveloping it with softness and comfort, “It’s okay. Really.”

Haru’s smile isn’t plastered on for looks. It’s just there, genuine, and it strikes Makoto that she wouldn’t mind seeing it again. Possibly even more than once.

There’s more to say, syllables on her tongue and time to say it, but instead, Haru gives Makoto’s hand one last squeeze before she drops it, the absence like pinpricks as Makoto’s skin meets the cool air.

“We should- we should probably move on. Maybe to something less involved.”

Haru stifles a giggle behind her palm, “That works for me.”

“Right.” Makoto turns around, because she’s not sure how much longer she can allow herself to stare. “I, um, actually don’t know any of the other games here…”

She hears laughter at her side, now, and before she thinks about it, turns to face the source.

“That’s okay- we can just wander and see what looks good, if that’s alright?”

There’s no expectation in Haru’s eyes and Makoto doesn’t really know what to do without it there. It had been present in every set of eyes she made contact with before joining the Phantom Thieves, and the absence of it within her friends is jarring, to say the least.  

She’s so wrapped up in that mismatch that she completely misses what Haru says next, “I’m- I’m sorry, I was just a little distracted. Can you repeat that?”

And Haru laughs, smile shining as she says “Thank you for saving me.” And takes Makoto’s hand again before she leads them to one of the dozens of machines lined up against the wall.

It doesn’t matter which game she picks- for some reason, pixels on a screen aren’t as appealing to Makoto as the smile on her companion’s face.  

* * *

 

The rest of the afternoon’s games aren’t nearly as eventful, though Makoto manages to forge through them with some success. Haru’s enthusiasm doesn’t dwindle once throughout, which is a success in and of itself.

Makoto had agreed to this outing for her sake, after all.

By the time they step out of the harsh lighting of the arcade, there’s a gentle rainfall coating the city’s streets, pushing anyone still out and about under overhangs or into stores.

Naturally, Makoto hadn’t thought to bring an umbrella- really, she should have, given the forecast, but then again she had suggested they go to an _arcade,_ of all places, so it isn’t like today’s exactly been a day of excellent decision making.

She sighs, resigns herself to a life of soaked clothes before she hears the _poof_ of nylon, and doesn’t feel the barrage of rain drops she expects. Instead, there’s a light press against her arm, and looking over, she sees the root cause.

Of course Haru is more prepared than she is. It’s only a fitting end to their day, but it’s pretty hard to focus on that when she’s so close, holding an umbrella over the both of them.

“I hope you don’t mind sharing,” Haru starts, pausing to consider her next words, “It would be terrible if you caught a cold.”

“I suppose,” Makoto says, watching a group of people rush into the diner next door, “If I did, I probably would be pretty useless fighting. I would hate for anyone to get hurt because of-”

It’s like a barrier rises between them the second the words leave her mouth- neither of them have brought up the Metaverse the entire day and there’s reasons for that, Makoto knows, and immediately kicks herself, “I mean, I wouldn’t…”

Makoto hears a shuffle, takes Haru’s hand when she slips it against hers, and asks, quietly, “Do you need a ride home? I’m sure my driver wouldn’t mind-”

“I’m sorry.”

The rain patters against the umbrella, before Makoto repeats, “I’m sorry.”

There’s a squeeze against her hand, and wetness on her cheeks despite the umbrella, and she should have done something sooner, she shouldn’t be acting like nothing happened and ignoring the whole reason she agreed to come out here, she should have-

“Mako-chan?” Haru’s voice doesn’t waver, and Makoto feels her body being turned, face-to-face with Haru and she can’t look her in the eye, “Mako-chan, what’s wrong?”

Haru’s free hand leaves hers to cup her face, wipes away tears with her thumb and this is all wrong, Makoto was supposed to be the one doing the comforting. Memories flash back- she’s thirteen and alone in her kitchen and there’s no one there to comfort her, no one there to wipe away her tears like this, so why did she let the same thing happen to Haru? Why had she waited so long to spend time with her? She waited, and now she has to deal with that fact, now that it’s been long enough that Haru’s shut everyone out. She doesn’t talk about it with them- with any of them, and Makoto needs to say something, she needs to bring it up, but when she opens her mouth, the only thing that comes out is “I don’t know.”

She only cracks her eyes open long enough to check Haru’s reaction- and it’s there, there are words on her tongue but instead she bites her lip, and Makoto looks away.

She doesn’t expect the _cling_ of the umbrella, the sudden onslaught of rain drops and the soft body enveloping her.

Haru’s arms are stronger than she expects, and she can hear her whisper, over and over, _it’s okay, I’m here_ , _she’ll be okay_ and Makoto is left to wonder if Haru has any idea who Makoto is actually worried about, but she can’t bring that up, and isn’t even sure what she would say if she did.

The sound of a car honking down the street is the only thing that breaks Makoto’s trance, a reminder that the two of them are still in public, and she pulls away. Haru’s smile is soft, undemanding, and she’s still beautiful, despite the rain and Makoto creating a mess of everything.

There’s a beat of silence when their eyes meet. Then, like thunder, they both burst out laughing.

“That was embarrassing, wasn’t it?”

“No- it was like something out of a drama! Or a romance novel!”

Haru’s laughter is sweet music to Makoto’s ears, and it drowns out every word left dead in the atmosphere around them.

Haru leans down and picks up the umbrella, raises it above them, even though they are both summarily soaked. “I never would have expected Ms. Post Apocalyptic Raider to be so emotional… Then again, I didn’t expect her to get so into arcade games, either. You're full of lovely surprises, Mako-chan!”

Makoto feels her face burn, “It was- I just-” and Haru’s giggling again.

“It’s okay. I like those sides of you. Both of them.”

That does nothing to help the blush spreading across Makoto’s face, taking Haru’s free hand again as she mutters “That’s not fair.”

“Hm?” Haru hums, then bumps against Makoto’s shoulder signalling she knows exactly what she said.

A wave of silence follows, though it’s more comfortable, the rain a chorus keeping everything else quiet before Haru says, “I had a wonderful time today. We should do things like this more often.”

“Yes.” Makoto says, the thought of spending more time with the girl making her heart flutter as she wonders, idly, if more time together could somehow help them both say what they actually mean.

* * *

 


End file.
